Attracted To A Man Who Isn't My Husband

Please, I want to remain anonymous.

Everything started when I least expected and what happened was something that I could never imagine happening to me!

I was at a company party! Dancing, laughing, alcohol and right now, everything seems fuzzy. I don't remember everything, but I remember enough to have occasional images coming up in my mind that are making me smile

... Images full of passion and in which I strongly desire a certain man. I am positive that if he were here and if it were to be the right time, we would be doing it again.

I have been married for a year and a half, but the man from that other night was not my husband, but a colleague of mine. I can't stop thinking about that! I am trying to figure out why it happened and I keep getting to answers that are not giving me any peace!

I am assuming that everything is because I have only been with one man my entire life; my wonderful, loving and serene husband; the only man that I want to be the father of my children!

We have been together for 8 years and I am 25 years old. Maybe this is the reason why; that I am inexperienced, that I want some adventure, that I want to do things that I didn’t do growing up, I don't really know! All I know is that I don't want to hurt him, but I can't be possibly be sure that I would be able to refrain myself from doing anything...

I want to stop! But I can't! Every day I spend a lot of time with my colleague and I am getting more and more attracted to him! After what happened, we “agreed” that what happened there the other night will remain there. But every time I look at him, I get all those passionate images in my head and I just can't stop myself...

I can see it in his eyes that he wants me too, I have no doubts about that! I think it's a matter of time for what happened the other night to happen again, but this time, without having the alcohol as the good excuse that it is!

How do I make myself stop?

How do I make myself stop wanting him and how do I bring back the passion in my relationship with my husband???

How do I stop feeling caged up and lost???

I don't want to continue falling asleep next to my husband and to keep thinking about someone else!

Does anyone understand what I am going through?