Miserable After Cheating On Him

Here is my story.

I am a 26 year old woman, I am pretty and I have a really nice and secure job.

Four years ago I married my husband for love.

He is a very sexy man and he likes women a lot. I knew this before, but I guess I thought that after we marry he will become a new man, besides I was madly in love with him and he was with me too.

We lived very well. Of course we had our arguments like every other normal family, but we always found ways to solve all our problems.

Recently though, I started noticing this specific sparkle in his eyes when he scanned young girls. And they will in return look him over. At the beginning I was amused, I was proud with him, it was a nice thought that I own him, that he is MINE. But I guess I overestimated my capabilities to have him only for myself.

To cut the long story short, I understood in a second that he was cheating on me. I went crazy!

What I hated most was that he was replacing them very often.

After a mad argument, my husband solemnly swore that he would stop with his love adventures, that he can’t imagine his life without me. I trusted him, because he was so miserable and….sweet. But only after half a year it all happened again.

Then it dawned on me to pay him back and make him feel betrayed, just like I felt.

I decided to cheat on him, what is more I have my way and am quite successful with guys. I chose my “candidate” – young and good-looking, and I knew he liked me for some time.

I went to bed with him, but I did not feel at all relieved. On the contrary, I felt worse. I felt I have lost not only my marital honor, but also my self-respect.

Instead of paying him back, I feel miserable and dirty.

How can I live with this? What should I do? Shall I confess it all to him?...

What would happen to me...